"Hey dude! What you are doing over there? Hello, I am talking to you! Don’t you listen to me, jerk ass?”
It was simply like that.
It was simply like that.
3 am in the morning, for some reason I have a bottle of cheap wine in my hands and a wacky woman swears to me. More perfect than that, impossible. Hypothetically it would be more interesting if I was in a strip club or something. But I was there, it was fucking 2 degrees, the fog was killing any life in that bridge and I was watching the boring emptiness happening in front of my eyes.
“What the hell, woman!”
“Oh, you finally listen to me. I thought you were deaf or something.”
Believe or not, but she carried a cynical smile while reeling into my direction. It was a vision worse than Saturday’s night programs on TV. The woman had no apparent charisma as she would be the last woman someone would try to fuck in a crowded pub. The type of woman your mom wants you to marry, but you are sure she is terribly annoying in every sense of realism. Or that she has some strange habit totally immutable, like collecting pictures of James Dean in her wallet. Some shit like that.
“You come here, swearing to me… Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you? Someone can not just simply drink a two dollars bottle of wine totally lonely and shameless in this country?”
“I’m sorry, dude. But I was sure you were trying to jump off the bridge.”
“I’m sorry, dude. But I was sure you were trying to jump off the bridge.”
“No, madam. It takes too much time to think about something like that. And in the last days it takes me a lot of effort to
think. Things are just happening. And hey, they are just not your business.”
“Obviously you totally got me wrong. I am just too tired of seeing people jumping off bridges alone. I stopped you not to save your fucking life, but for the honest reason that I would like to join you.”
“That’s why my dad always told me to not talk to strangers.”
“It is not that bad.”
“Depends, it cannot be nice to talk to a woman planning to jump off a bridge at 3 am. Mainly when you are fucking drinking a bottle of cheap wine and the winter is just around the corner.”
“Depends, it cannot be nice to talk to a woman planning to jump off a bridge at 3 am. Mainly when you are fucking drinking a bottle of cheap wine and the winter is just around the corner.”
She strangely sit very close to me, close to some metal structures holding that bridge up in the sky. I watching her boots and the sound they were doing in the pavement, and man, it was just too ugly.
“Strangerssss innnn the nighttttt….Exchanging glances…. You know that fucking song, right? The advantage to meet strangers at 3 am is that you can talk to them absolutely everything, you can even tell them that you murdered someone and it will not come back to you.”
“Not exactly… I think I saw you somewhere. Are you going to Denny’s frequently?”
“I would never dare to enter in that shit.”
“So.. Ah.. Are you Tommy’s older sister? Nooooo. You are friends with that blonde girl with red glasses, Polly!”
“It’s Pamella. Damn it, you just ruined our openness here. I do not want to talk shit and then meet you somewhere. How do you know Pamella?”
“I slept with her like…A year ago. She’s a good girl, you know. Just too methodical.”
“It’s Pamella. Damn it, you just ruined our openness here. I do not want to talk shit and then meet you somewhere. How do you know Pamella?”
“I slept with her like…A year ago. She’s a good girl, you know. Just too methodical.”
“Yeah, she is always freaking out with procedures. I think I saw you in some pub, somewhere in the south. You are the guy with the funny story about clowns and tequilas in Tijuana.”
I was always telling that shitty joke every time I was bored with something. And it always works pretty well. Unconsciously people always related me to the joke – or it was pretty good or it was the most ridiculous thing they ever heard. And basically with these words you could measure my life. Or things were going pretty well but I was not noticing, or it was shit and I would be probably the last person to realize that.
“So are you gonna tell me why the hell you are sitting here alone? What you were thinking about? Before I arrived here and ruined your silence with my annoying swearing.”
“I was really thinking about anything. I was just chilling out here, wondering perhaps which kind of headache this wine will bring to my life tomorrow. I am not like you girls, always thinking about something. Or better, you guys are always thinking about twenty things at same time. Maybe I should be thinking about something, because just having now your question in mind it makes me think about plenty facts.”
“It’s now or never, dude.”
“I was really thinking about anything. I was just chilling out here, wondering perhaps which kind of headache this wine will bring to my life tomorrow. I am not like you girls, always thinking about something. Or better, you guys are always thinking about twenty things at same time. Maybe I should be thinking about something, because just having now your question in mind it makes me think about plenty facts.”
“It’s now or never, dude.”
“Well, I just killed a dude with a pipe.”
“Seriously?”
“Of course not. Why should I be honest with someone with such bad taste for boots?”
“Of course not. Why should I be honest with someone with such bad taste for boots?”
“They were expensive.”
“Probably so. But still, very difficult to look at. Jesus. They look like Brad Pitt’s hair in that zombie movie. With all those corny fringes…”
“I just found my boyfriend betraying me with my best friend. Well, I thought she was my best friend.”
“I just found my boyfriend betraying me with my best friend. Well, I thought she was my best friend.”
For a second I thought about her feelings, and that I should shut up my mouth before showing some sympathy for that stranger. That boots were really annoying me. And that’s nothing someone can do about it, you know?
“Are you not gonna say something?”
“Are you not gonna say something?”
“What can I say? Was she hot?”
“Man, I don’t know. She is kinda fat, having that strange belly that divides into worlds when she sits down. In the situation, she was siting on his lap. And she also got one of those hair extensions that looks like a hamster died a year ago in her head.”
“Man, I don’t know. She is kinda fat, having that strange belly that divides into worlds when she sits down. In the situation, she was siting on his lap. And she also got one of those hair extensions that looks like a hamster died a year ago in her head.”
“That bad?”
“Well. She is kinda okay. Her face is cute, and she had some cool fingers. Not totally longs as mine, those cute fingers were guys like to put diamond rings or their asshole on them.”
“That’s a very memorable observation about fingers, I gotta say that.”
“Thank you. Seriously, they were almost fucking each other in his car. I was going to his flat to show some bigger flats I was visiting these days. We were planning to move together, you know. I am pretty independent, realistic, owner of my own noose. But that asshole got me. I was thinking about getting a cat and name it Evandro…”
“Well. She is kinda okay. Her face is cute, and she had some cool fingers. Not totally longs as mine, those cute fingers were guys like to put diamond rings or their asshole on them.”
“That’s a very memorable observation about fingers, I gotta say that.”
“Thank you. Seriously, they were almost fucking each other in his car. I was going to his flat to show some bigger flats I was visiting these days. We were planning to move together, you know. I am pretty independent, realistic, owner of my own noose. But that asshole got me. I was thinking about getting a cat and name it Evandro…”
“This sucks. You should change those boots.”
“Is that bad?”
“It is just disappointing, you know. By your boots everyone can guess ‘Hey, she always chooses the wrong things’”
The silence followed us for about ten minutes. It was a good friend of mine, but she was seeming even more lost in her thoughts.
“It is just disappointing, you know. By your boots everyone can guess ‘Hey, she always chooses the wrong things’”
The silence followed us for about ten minutes. It was a good friend of mine, but she was seeming even more lost in her thoughts.
She was having some kind of intern epiphany, probably seeing what I wanted to mean. I have this habit of talking about things indirectly. It’s too tiring to show that I care about something. More ridiculous to externalize compassion for a stranger I’ve just met in the dark. It is better hold on and drink one more sip of wine. But I knew that some more sympathy would bring me where I did not want to go. To what the fuck was really happening.
“Why the hell do you think that talking to a stranger will make you feel better about it?”
“I had a hope.”
“I am sorry but the world has been too realistic to wishes lately. You know, you look to the skies, hope that some bird will never shit in your duster but that just what exactly happens after a time. The fucking bird and take a huge crap in your duster and you cannot clean the shit even with some special washer. Can you see this huge chalky spot over here? He got me four days ago. ”
“That looks disgusting, man.”
“I know. Eva was very good with those things, but hey, guess what happened too. I should not talk to you, seriously. I think you should go home.”
“I know. Eva was very good with those things, but hey, guess what happened too. I should not talk to you, seriously. I think you should go home.”
She stood up, mentally putting her shit together during a long sigh. Those that bring more weight than relief, but hey, that’s what mostly this thing was about. But the boots.. Ah that fucking boots!
As expected, she was just leaving me in the night, as the same way she came in. I thought about many things, it is just very pathetic how we can connect so much with someone that we shared some shitty conversation that we will probably regret in the morning after. Being twenty-something can just be very confusing sometimes.
While I saw her very distant to me, she thought twice and came back. It was not that hurtful to her step back and
be just in the spot she was before. It seemed she did not finished with me, whatever the shit she wanted to finish at that time.
“You cannot just say bullshit about hope. Who are you to say that everything is lost forever? Schopenhauer? Rousseau? The dude that discovers he’s dead in the Sixth Sense? And what if it is, your Eva never comes back to you, and I never have the courage to look at my boyfriend’s face anymore. We are still not dead, you know. Breathing and living the things in the way we can. Maybe it is not the right way, maybe my boots are terrible, but I guess it is worth a try.”
She ran to me, as it would be holding some kind secret answer to the previous events in her life.
I kissed that stranger, the one I met in the night. I had no idea what would be her name, but I knew who she was. Probably I would see her around in some decadent pub, and we would drink some booze while pretending we just met. Carrying on our lives, frustrations and routines. Convincing everything will get better, somehow, as it did when we just faced each other in that bridge. It bring some kind of bizarre warmness to get to know people that are taking the same shit as you are. It feels like a team, accomplices in crime. Maybe we were just waiting to get more mature and assume that we fucking enjoyed each other in that night.
Weird facts that can happen 3 am in the morning, when fucking 2 degrees are freezing every inch of skin and life. But not avoiding people to connect somehow, even though they have a terrible taste for boots.
But hey, in the end that’s not that bad.
Not at all.
